Wedding ring blues

Twice a week, Marlon attends a krav maga class at the International School of Amsterdam in Amstelveen. Last Monday night, he stored his duffel bag in his friend Joris’s car while the class worked out in the parking lot, in full view of the cars. For the last ten minutes of the class, the instructor took them all back inside for one last exercise.

In those ten minutes, thieves smashed the window of Joris’s car, reached in and grabbed Marlon’s duffel bag. They took his office laptop, office and personal phones (an iPhone and Blackberry), house keys and bike keys, wallet with credit cards, ATM card, driver’s license and €50 in cash, passport and Dutch residence card, his office clothes including a leather jacket and his favorite leather Timberland shoes…

And his wedding ring.

Marlon called me from Joris’s phone after the theft and asked me to help get his cards blocked while he went to the police station to make a report (no transactions or money taken, thank God). Then he turned up at our doorstep, with nothing but the sweaty gym clothes on his back.

Wearing the saddest, most heartbreaking face I’ve ever seen, he said nothing and simply held up his bare finger where his ring had been. I pulled him inside, hugged him and cried. Knowing how crushed he was, I whispered: ”Don’t worry, you’re still married to me.”

Since then, friends have pointed out that he was lucky that nobody was hurt and I agree. I suppose in the overall scale of loss, having these essentials stolen is just a giant pain. Marlon took the last day and a half off to start replacing the items that were lost. The office laptop and phone were the easiest to replace, being reissued within a day; the Dutch residence card and Philippine passport will take anywhere from 4 to 9 long weeks. Goodbye business trips (and tag-along weekends) to Berlin, Paris and Marbella.

The ring… not so easy to replace. Our wedding rings were simple and inexpensive, and I can probably get the same ring from the same shop when we fly home to Manila for Christmas. But wedding rings are never just about the ring, are they?

He’s thinking about getting a tattoo on his ring finger now, so he can never lose it. I loved the idea and was thrilled at the idea of getting a matching one for myself. Then I remembered: I’m pregnant! No tattoos! Oops.

Friends suggested we make calls to pawnshops; thankfully in the Amsterdam area, that list is mercifully short. (If someone suggested that I call all the pawnshops in Manila, I would say it would be easier to fall on a sword.) Others suggested we keep an eye on Marktplaats (the Dutch eBay)  in case it turns up there.

The Dutch policewoman who prepared his police report emailed him (police with email! So first world!) had the best suggestion of all. “When you get a new ring, just celebrate your marriage again and throw a big party!” Smart and sweet, so unlike police in my corner of the world. But hey, that sounds like a perfect fifth wedding anniversary.

Have you ever lost anything as precious, or had it stolen? How did you deal with it and did you ever get it back?

Ring photo taken on our wedding day by Mango Red.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=689597116 Sheila Paul

    Noooooooo :(

  • http://thumbelinaleaf.blogspot.com/ Cris

    A few months back, my hubby lost his wedding ring, too. It slipped from his finger – ganon sya kapayat! kainez! Kidding aside, he was devastated when he lost it. He kept on saying sorry to me. I told him not to worry and that I still love him. I had the same idea of renewing our vows when we get a new ring for him hehe. Perfect excuse for me to wear a lovely wedding dress again hahaha! We haven’t replaced the ring yet. 

    I hope you and your hubby are feeling better after this.

    • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

      Haha kainis! I perked up at the thought of shopping for a cute “re-wedding” dress… but by the time we get the new ring, the only thing that will fit me will be probably a white tent.

      And yes, we’re feeling better now, thanks :)

  • Amor

    Hi Deepa :)
    I’m a long time lurker (early SG days), I hope you don’t mind me asking where you got your bands in Manila. I’m planning my own big day. Thank you.

    • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

      Wow congratulations! :)
      I got our rings from Goldenhills Jewelry… the plainest white gold ones they had. They used to have a tiny store in Glorietta 2, but that’s gone now. I will probably check out their store in Galleria when I go home for Christmas. http://www.facebook.com/goldenhillsjewel

      • amor

        Maraming salamat :)

  • http://blog.weekendsinthecity.net/ ‘chelle

    I don’t think I have, but I am sort of the family (and barkada) champion at losing phones (I’ve lost 1, and 2 have been lifted from my bag / luggage). The policewoman’s suggestion is a lovely idea, especially since 5 years and a baby on the way are definitely milestones you guys should celebrate :)

    • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

      I’ve lost stuff in Manila but never by break-in. The worst was a bag lifted from under the table in McDonalds Greenbelt a month before the wedding. I had about 30K in cash to pay wedding suppliers :(

      • http://blog.weekendsinthecity.net/ ‘chelle

        Having 30K taken a month before your wedding is horrible! :S I totally hold onto my bag a lot tighter when in Cubao and other places, but those 2 phones I’ve lost were taken while at rather upscale malls – Greenbelt 5 and Power Plant. :S 

        • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

          Your comment reminds me—I lost a phone in the ladies’ room at Ion Orchard, a very upscale mall in Singapore. I left it on the counter while washing my hands, turned around to get tissue and it was gone! 

          • http://blog.weekendsinthecity.net/ ‘chelle

            That is actually how I lost the phone in Greenbelt. I had my bag on the counter (open tote) and I turned around to dry my hands. That reminds me, I’ve actually lost 4 phones. I lost one a few weeks ago while in Singapore – I’m still not sure if it fell out of my bag or what. The person who answered it claimed to have “found” it in the hotel lobby >_<

  • http://twitter.com/leapinaygypsy Lea Ablaya

    yes, a bracelet gifted by my mom was snatched in cubao. after that incident, it took me several years to go to that area again. trauma! hahaha!

    i think, we get sad when we lose stuff not because of its value, but for sentimental reasons. luckily, that’s the first & only instance i lost something precious.i hope you still get to retrieve your husband’s ring. miracles do happen! 

    btw, congrats on your pregnancy!

    • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

      Haay Cubao, iba ka talaga. I used to pass there to commute to Ateneo, but after hearing too many stories of bag slashing/snatching incidents from friends, I started taking the long way round via the Quezon Ave MRT/UP ikot instead.
      Thank you! Coming up with a pregnancy update at the end of the week :)

  • http://www.mintstudiocreations.com/ Noortje

    Luckily I haven’t. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I lost my wedding ring. Or worse, if it got stolen. It’s not only the costs, it’s especially the sentimental value. You can replace the ring, but it is just not the same. I’m so affraid to loose it I don’t even wear it when I travel!

    But getting a new ring and celebrating your marriage again doesn’t sound like a bad idea!

    Best of luck.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pepe.macarilay Joseph Calimag Macarilay

    grabe. napaiyak ako dun : ”Don’t worry, you’re still married to me.”

  • http://twitter.com/incubusbaby Myleen Castro

    i just have to comment on this old blog post haha

    hubby lost his wedding ring (misplaced it inside the house) around summer of 2011. like yours, it was inexpensive and simple; i felt sad but i know that ring or no ring, husband would be loyal to me.

    Believe it or not, during typhoon Sending, while the house was flooded and all, we found his ring again. I love happy endings! :D

    • http://www.currystrumpet.com/ Deepa

      Aww at least nahanap n’yo pa. We’ve given up hope :(

  • http://www.golcondajewels.com/ wedding ring Philippines

    Tears fell. Though I’m not married yet but I know that a ring is the most important jewelry a couple must have. Its not about the how much it cost but the sentimental value it has.